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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26922994">Rodney's Little Secret</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cueonego/pseuds/cueonego'>cueonego</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stargate SG-1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Sam just owns McKay big time</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:43:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,019</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26922994</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cueonego/pseuds/cueonego</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam is trying to save the world once again, but Rodney's incessant babbles and criticisms annoy the hell out of Sam. That is, until she discovers a small little fact that will shut him up for a while.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>No Romantic Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Rodney's Little Secret</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I love Rodney to bits in the Atlantis universe, but in SG-1 he is such a massive dick that I felt the compulsion to write this fic.</p><p>It also doesn't help that I think if someone were to step on McKay, he would probably be super turned on, inappropriately.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam had it up to her neck with McKay’s incessant babbling of criticisms. He had no idea what he was talking about, and all he was doing was shooting her ideas down.</p><p>All the while with a smug smile on his face, thinking that he’s the smartest person in the room. <em>God.</em></p><p>He was the most annoying person she has ever had the displeasure to work with.</p><p>Sam quietly excused herself to her quarters. The problem wasn’t going to be fixed being talked over in a room full of testosterone. She needed some damn peace and quiet to think through the problem at hand.</p><p>She plopped herself down onto her bed and fell backwards, letting the bed catch her. She needed to relax a bit, maybe close her eyes for a second before she could come up with something brilliant. She knew eventually she will come up with something that will save the day. The world was going to get saved, she knew that.</p><p>A knock on her doors rang through her quarters. She let out a soft curse, but the world needed saving, and it was no time for rest after all. She let out a sigh before she brought herself up and walked to the door.</p><p>Before she could reach the door, she heard another set of knocks. Whoever this was, they better have some good news (or a catastrophic mess she had to clean up), otherwise they had no business knocking on her door like this.</p><p>She finally opened the door only to find the smug bastard in front of her. Questionable clothes, questionable hair, questionable everything. <em>Ugh</em>. She did nothing to hide her disgust.</p><p>“McKay. What are you doing here?”</p><p>The bastard perked up, his mouth opening up for the torrential flow of words.</p><p>“I’m just, you know, dropping by to see what you’re up to. See if you wanna chat about the problem, just the two of us.”</p><p>Sam frowned at the speed in which McKay was being plain out wrong. Just the two of them? Was this guy serious?</p><p>“Sorry, but not interested.”</p><p>“Oh come on, Major, you and I both know we have so much spark between us, and I think we’ll make much more progress together being away from those idiots.”</p><p>McKay tried to push himself in between the crack between Sam and the door.</p><p>“Yeah, no,” Sam said as she blocked him with her body. “You’re not invited.”</p><p>“Please, Major. I see it in your eyes that you want me. You want what you don’t have, which is my intelligence,” said McKay as he pointed at his head.</p><p>Sam was growing impatient. “Are you done?”</p><p>“No, I’m just getting started,” McKay pushed in past as Sam pressed her eyes closed in annoyance. “I mean really? That was the best idea you had? I knew I always had a thing for the dumb blondes, but I didn’t know you were that dumb!”</p><p>Sam shot an angry look towards McKay, annoyed that he invited himself into her quarters. “Alright, McKay. That’s enough.”</p><p>“To be Frank, Major, your ideas are half baked at best, and even if they’re any good, you always have a way of making them wacky and ridiculous. I mean who calls that physics? It’s magic and fairytale at best.”</p><p>Sam wasn’t going to take any more of this idiotic, one sided discussion. Out of anger, she slammed McKay against the wall and pressed her arm across his throat.</p><p>“Are you done,” said Sam. “<em>Doctor?”</em></p><p>McKay’s eyes widened like those of a deer in the headlights. His arms flailed against the wall and his mouth opened in panic, but he was speechless, which surprised Sam. If some physical force was what she needed to shut him up, she would have done this a <em>lot</em> sooner.</p><p>She pressed her arm further in with a smirk. “What, you don’t have anything more to say?”</p><p>McKay gulped and let out a shaky breath. His chest was rising and falling rapidly, and his eyes fluttered close as he cleared his throat.</p><p><em>Wow</em>, that really shut him up fast. A little <em>too</em> fast. Sam studied McKay’s face, flushed red and eyes pressed shut with his brows furrowing. His breath was rough, and he was beginning to perspire, and oh dear god, Sam didn’t expect to see McKay’s crappy khakis to have a bulge in the front.</p><p>“Oh my god,” Sam said in disbelief, loosening the pressure and jumping back. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”</p><p>McKay couldn’t help but stammer. “It— it’s totally involuntary, it’s not because I think you’re attractive, which I do! I think you’re a very much an attractive woman, it’s just—“</p><p>“Just what, McKay?” Sam glared.</p><p>McKay gulped.</p><p>“I just— I might have a thing, with uh— situations like this.” McKay whispered in panic. “Please don’t kill me.”</p><p>Sam let out a scoff, unable to believe that McKay was getting turned on in this situation.</p><p>Then a thought shot through her head.</p><p>“I’m gonna tell everyone of your dirty little secret,” Sam smirked. “That you like being roughed up against the wall by force.”</p><p>Sam saw McKay’s face pale, his head shaking vigorously expressing his desire for that to <em>very much</em> not happen. Good. Sam continued.</p><p>“That you like it when you’re treated like a little bitch.”</p><p>“Major, please, I— I still have a reputation to protect.”</p><p>“Reputation?” Sam chuckled. “Not after this you won’t.”</p><p>“Okay, please! I’ll never even suggest that you’re interested in me in any capacity. I will never even suggest that you’re a dumb blonde, that I’m smarter than you because you are, <em>definitely</em> the most gorgeous person with a hot body... and equally hot mind, and uh– my lips are sealed, zipped, if you want maybe we can pinky promise, or—”</p><p>“That’s enough, McKay.”</p><p>“Right.”</p><p>“Now get out.”</p><p>“Yes, out. Thank you.”</p><p>McKay scurried out the door he so confidently came in through. Not even a glance back.</p><p>That ought to shut him up for a little while.</p><p>Sam smiled, and left her quarters with a lighter step. She had to go save the world after all.</p>
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